A War Within

Like the war-ravaged
world I reside in,
a battle-zone
lies in the cells of
my brain stretching to
the areas inside my chest,

where my role constantly
changes from a peace-maker
to an active soldier
to a mere spectator.

As if fueled by
an external beneficiary,
the trouble never settles.

Torn, whenever I try
to seek refuge
in a peaceful heart
I’m readily refused,
for strangers are
feared as trouble-makers.

Amid the failure
of all the counselling
options, I hope for a
divine intervention
to unite the warring
factions of body and soul
into a contented whole.

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The Dawn Of Your Thoughts

On a wintry Islamabad

eventide, the clarity of

my mind was fogged

by the gloom, lurking

in the horizon

all the day long,

wary of the mighty sun,

waiting for it to depart.

Amid the rule of dark,

the golden countenance

of your thoughts

burst like a dawn,

splashed through

the curtains of

my numbed vision,

and the future looked

as resplendant

as an ever-lasting morn.

Reflections

Those who know me well in my real life often blame me for my less-progressive and more-reflective nature which to them is the real cause of the stagnancy I always whine about. They might be true but reflection often leads me to the clues of my conundrums. My sister nadia tagged me for an excellent opportunity to reflect on a few things which will help me a much needed vent especially in the start of the new year.

Though I have seen lots of my dreams been shattered along the path, yet whenever I visit back home, the prayers of my mother serves as a note of hope for my dwindling ambitions and I come back reinvigorated to fight the challenges and avenge the loss of a dream or two. Thus I’m always satisfied as long as I’ve the backing of my mother.

Talking of the dreams, I’ve always been in want of a profession where I could serve the interest of my people for I wanted myself to be counted among the youth capable of transforming societies for better. I might not had the capability but the want, the desire has always been there.

I’m not a narcissist in the strictest of meanings but I do love myself for being what I am, my constant scolding of myself notwithstanding. I love myself for being sensitive to my people, my land, my values and most of all my conscience, but stop! I’m not praising myself at all! 😛

Ironically, all my life, all my best friends haven’t remained my best friends for long courtesy my ill-socialization. Call it my shy-childhood to visit my friends when I was a child or ‘taking friendships for granted’ not to equal their visits or telephonic communication, in a mature age but there is definitely something that has drifted my friends from me. Nevertheless I’ve always cherished the company of good friends. They are a blessing which one ought not lose!

I’ve never been in a habit to write down resolutions and the ones I kept in my chest have betrayed me with the progression of years but this time around I’m more than resolute not to let slip the ones I have for the year 2009.

Achievement is a word that has always been elusive to my grabs yet I won’t sound ungrateful for lots things that I’ve achieved with the blessings of Almighty Allah. It might not include much of the material achievements but the respect I’ve won and a gradual maturity of intellect that I’ve been endowed with is certainly worth thanking for. I’ve certain ambition to achieve in a professional world for which I’ll strive as much I could and I’ll pray to be given a trait of someone being razi-ba-raz-e-ilahi.

I’m a great believer in the ability of our youth and I feel I can make a difference if found a proper platform with some like-minded people to try and help our downtrodden masses one way or the other. On a micro level at least, I’ll try and make a difference via the realization of my mother’s dreams.

I’m inviting Ayesha, Goonga, Asma and MZ to participate in the tag and reflect on the words written in bold.

Remembering November The 3rd, 2007…

The Context: The credibility of General Pervez Musharraf had been rendered to an all time low by the decision of a larger bench of the Superme Court to reinstate the sacked Chief Justice Iftikhar Mohamma Chaudhry. Cases were filed in the Supereme Court against the holidng of dual offices on part of Mr. Musharraf, the result of which was about to come; not in affirmative for the Army Chief cum President, so believed many.

The Day: The dawn of November the 3rd, 2007 seen Gen. Pervez Musharraf declaring the state of Emergency where the constitution of 1973 was frozen, the judiciary suspended and a Provisional Constitutional Order was issued. More so,the coverage of all the national news and entertainment media channels were blocked in Pakistan besides strict directions were issued to the national newspapers warning them to refrain from publishing anything against the governmental policies. The day could well be termed as one of the most tragic in the political history of Pakistan as the basic rights of the citizenry of Pakistan were snatched by a cowardly millitiary ruler. The decision had to be opposed by the resiliant Pakistani masses and they did albeit the suppressive tactics by the milliatary tyrant at the helm. Students, journalists, laywers and the members of civil society rose for the restoration of the consitution. Political leaders like Imran Khan of Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaaf took it upon himself to mobilize the youth which he did to a great success notwithstanding having been locked up.

What I felt: Like every patriotic pakistani I too wanted to do my bit in the mass campaign for the restoration of the rule of law. Barring participation in a few rallies and surviving an investigation about a black arm-band that I wore, I wrote the poem below which got published as well; to express what I was feeling at the time.

Bhalay Dino’n ki aas hay!

Yeh jabr ki faseel jo,
Kharhi hui hay chaar soo,
Yeh zulm ki kahania’n,
Jo meray aas paas hai’n,
Tho kya hua?
Hamari rooh-o-jaan may,
Bhalay dino’n ki aas hay,
Watan mera udaas hay.
Watan pay raaj kar rahi hay teergi,
Yeh teergi,
Jo roshni ki aik hi kiran,
Ko dekh kar hi apna khatma,
Karaigi,
Woh roshni,
Hamaray aas paas hay,
Awaam ka jo zoor hay,
Yeh waqt ka jo shoor hay,
Jamhooriat ki aor hay,
Yeh jabr ki faseel ab,
Gira keh hi rahaingay hum,
kahania’n yeh zulm ki,
Mita keh hi rahaingay hum,
Hamari rooh-o-jaan may,
Bhalay dino’n ki aas hay,
Watan mera udaas hay…
Watan mera udaas hay…

Translation

The walls of cruelty,
Standing all around us,
The stories of brutality,
Which are being played,
In our vicinities,
Are nothing!
As there resides a hope,
In our bodies and souls,
Of the better days to come,
Yes, my land is saddened,
By the ruling gloom,
The gloom!
We are sure will be doomed!
By seeing even a slightest,
Of the rays of light,
The light!
Is somewhere amongst us.
People; the powerful,
And time; the clamorous,
Are heading towards democracy,
The walls of cruelty,
Will be fallen down,
And the stories of brutality,
Will be wiped,
By us,
As there resides a hope,
In our bodies and souls,
Of the better days to come.

Today: We have got a democratic compensation but we are far far away from what is called a smooth national journey. From the look of things we have plunged even deeper to the void of uncertainity with a torn apart soveriegnity, poor law and order, food and energy cirises and so forth.The question of our survival has never been so fequently asked like todays conundrum.

What we require is the revival of the spirit that we exhibited back then during the black days of emergency. We must raise our voice against the ill-policies of our government towards combating terrorism. We must act as a pressure group to hold our leaders responsible for the decisions they are taking for it is the essence of democracy. I’m more than confident that the vibrant youth of Pakistan woudn’t let this country slip into the hands of obscurity.

Prayer For Tommorow: May Allah keep us united! May the name of Pakistan shine forever over the face of the globe! Amen!

The Light Of Tears

Hopes exude en masse

when night befalls

the avenues of life.

The horizon mourns death

of the Sun wrapping itself

in a darkish shawl.

A million eyes inhabiting

the milky way peep down

through the dark,

crying like stars.

Spotting me here, a pair

descends steps of the air

in a hundredth of a second,

lending me what

my eyes require.

‘The dawn is silhouetted near’,

says the light of my tears.

Inspired by Mohsin Naqvi’s verse,

Mohsin taloo-e-ashk daleel-e-sahar tau hay,

shab kat gayee charagh bujha dena chahiye