Forgive me, mother!

I wish it were only a bad dream, not a strangling reality. But since I’m typing this fully awake, having consumed my stock of your lullabies, mother, let me confess you my failures. Let me show you my broken wings that cannot take me to the stars you wanted me to touch. Let me show you my hands, bereft. My heart is no longer the one, big, where your dreams would rest; it shriveled in the autumn ever since I wowed to bring you flowers.

It sure kills me to resign to the fact. To resign to the fact that your dreams will remain vain. That I’m the culprit of betraying your hopes. But mother, I have my reasons to excuse; there’s still this giant being of fate blocking my way to reach to you, to find myself.

I’m writing this because you cannot read it. Another deceit on my part but I cannot help it. I cannot tell you the truth, mour. Neither could I keep it to myself anymore. Forgive me for being a false source of your expectations! Forgive me mother!

19 thoughts on “Forgive me, mother!

  1. captureuniverse

    i am sure if your mother even could have access to your post, she would have excused you for everything… 🙂
    you are confessing by your heart, one can sense it how purely you are excusing… confess it infront of your dearest MOUR… you will be more contended and feel satisfaction inside your heart… 🙂
    Go and talk to your mom… Go…!

      1. captureuniverse

        it wont be heart break rora…but ur mother would definatly add up her warmth in ur throbbing heart… trust me..mothers are next to sweeter than anything in this world… 🙂

  2. I think whatever happens, unlike us, our mothers only see the good, the hope and the life in us. In everything bad that we do, in every failure, she always finds something good to be proud of.

    Either our intelligence, our words , our realistic approach, our efforts, or our hope, but unlike us mothers are always optimistic.

    When a child is learning to use his feet or hands or then later on toilet, she always sees the effort the child is making and that goes on through the whole life, you can never disappoint a mother, even fathers sometimes… We only have pessimism on ourselves , our heads.

    If you sit down and speak with your mother , she may showyou aspects of your eprsonality/kife that yyou were.nt aware of and that may give you direction and hope and/or a new meaning to your life…

    May Allah give you the strength and light to see and walk on the right path, ameen.

    Allah de darla kaamyabianay darki, ameen.

    1. Yes, being a mother you may understand the situation better. I agree mothers always see positives in their children; just the other night my mother said how adorable her child is, completely ignoring my fast disappearing hair 😛

      I’m indebted to you for your kind prayers.
      Dera mehrubani staso da de pur khaloosa dua gano da para!
      God bless!

  3. Sometimes it isn’t easy to talk with parents about one’s feelings and emotions but I think you should talk with her. She’d prove a great support I’m sure!

    I like the use of mour and more!

    1. I think sharing my current state of mind with her will only add to her woes. I wish some good thing happens and I’ll be proud sharing it with her.

      Mour and more rhymed incidentally 🙂

  4. dude, you need to look yourself from our eyes, you possess such a talent when it comes to writing skills that i even can’t expatiate. i suggest you, go ahead and fulfill your dreams, there are lot of average/poor writers on dawn blog and other Webs which in my opinion if compare can’t stand in front you, hence in my opinion rather asking forgiveness, you should say, mom the day is not far enough when you will be more proud of me.
    Best of Luck.

  5. A mothers heart is filled with love N only love for their kids, sometimes all we need is to realize this. Living in fear that our mother won’t understand us or forgive us is painful but not have tried is the real damage according to me. 🙂 A mothers heart is like the open gate asking for us to enter N gain peace of all kind. Nicely written, hmm touchy!

    1. Thanks for commenting!
      I wont disagree with what you have to say, for mothers are such lovely beings. I still cant withstand telling her about my failures, though.

  6. It really gets difficult at times.. but give it a try atleast! Just spit it out, she will surely understand!! Mothers can get everything that is going on in their child’s heart, trust me just take the first step, and she’ll get the rest!

    1. I do my very best to be around her on my visits back home. She definitely understands the frustrations I have as I ask for her prayers time and time again and my pain is lessened to a great extent when I know that her prayers are surrounding me.

      Welcome to me blog! 🙂

  7. i cant feel at ease if i am hiding something from my mom…. i jst HAVE to share it with her…she is the only person in the world who knows how to comfort me and how to cheer me up and make me strong again…

    i think whatever it is bugging you tell your mom and i can bet she will understand…

    1. @shaguftaabbas .. I guess I had posted this entry some 2 moths back. I hope I’ll soon get over this nauseating phase to update this blog.
      thanks for the concern and comment 🙂

      @yesterdaywasbetter .. cant disagree with what you have to say. thanks for the comment and stopping by here 🙂

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