Those who know me well in my real life often blame me for my less-progressive and more-reflective nature which to them is the real cause of the stagnancy I always whine about. They might be true but reflection often leads me to the clues of my conundrums. My sister nadia tagged me for an excellent opportunity to reflect on a few things which will help me a much needed vent especially in the start of the new year.
Though I have seen lots of my dreams been shattered along the path, yet whenever I visit back home, the prayers of my mother serves as a note of hope for my dwindling ambitions and I come back reinvigorated to fight the challenges and avenge the loss of a dream or two. Thus I’m always satisfied as long as I’ve the backing of my mother.
Talking of the dreams, I’ve always been in want of a profession where I could serve the interest of my people for I wanted myself to be counted among the youth capable of transforming societies for better. I might not had the capability but the want, the desire has always been there.
I’m not a narcissist in the strictest of meanings but I do love myself for being what I am, my constant scolding of myself notwithstanding. I love myself for being sensitive to my people, my land, my values and most of all my conscience, but stop! I’m not praising myself at all! 😛
Ironically, all my life, all my best friends haven’t remained my best friends for long courtesy my ill-socialization. Call it my shy-childhood to visit my friends when I was a child or ‘taking friendships for granted’ not to equal their visits or telephonic communication, in a mature age but there is definitely something that has drifted my friends from me. Nevertheless I’ve always cherished the company of good friends. They are a blessing which one ought not lose!
I’ve never been in a habit to write down resolutions and the ones I kept in my chest have betrayed me with the progression of years but this time around I’m more than resolute not to let slip the ones I have for the year 2009.
Achievement is a word that has always been elusive to my grabs yet I won’t sound ungrateful for lots things that I’ve achieved with the blessings of Almighty Allah. It might not include much of the material achievements but the respect I’ve won and a gradual maturity of intellect that I’ve been endowed with is certainly worth thanking for. I’ve certain ambition to achieve in a professional world for which I’ll strive as much I could and I’ll pray to be given a trait of someone being razi-ba-raz-e-ilahi.
I’m a great believer in the ability of our youth and I feel I can make a difference if found a proper platform with some like-minded people to try and help our downtrodden masses one way or the other. On a micro level at least, I’ll try and make a difference via the realization of my mother’s dreams.