Those who know me well in my real life often blame me for my less-progressive and more-reflective nature which to them is the real cause of the stagnancy I always whine about. They might be true but reflection often leads me to the clues of my conundrums. My sister nadia tagged me for an excellent opportunity to reflect on a few things which will help me a much needed vent especially in the start of the new year.

Though I have seen lots of my dreams been shattered along the path, yet whenever I visit back home, the prayers of my mother serves as a note of hope for my dwindling ambitions and I come back reinvigorated to fight the challenges and avenge the loss of a dream or two. Thus I’m always satisfied as long as I’ve the backing of my mother.

Talking of the dreams, I’ve always been in want of a profession where I could serve the interest of my people for I wanted myself to be counted among the youth capable of transforming societies for better. I might not had the capability but the want, the desire has always been there.

I’m not a narcissist in the strictest of meanings but I do love myself for being what I am, my constant scolding of myself notwithstanding. I love myself for being sensitive to my people, my land, my values and most of all my conscience, but stop! I’m not praising myself at all! πŸ˜›

Ironically, all my life, all my best friends haven’t remained my best friends for long courtesy my ill-socialization. Call it my shy-childhood to visit my friends when I was a child or ‘taking friendships for granted’ not to equal their visits or telephonic communication, in a mature age but there is definitely something that has drifted my friends from me. Nevertheless I’ve always cherished the company of good friends. They are a blessing which one ought not lose!

I’ve never been in a habit to write down resolutions and the ones I kept in my chest have betrayed me with the progression of years but this time around I’m more than resolute not to let slip the ones I have for the year 2009.

Achievement is a word that has always been elusive to my grabs yet I won’t sound ungrateful for lots things that I’ve achieved with the blessings of Almighty Allah. It might not include much of the material achievements but the respect I’ve won and a gradual maturity of intellect that I’ve been endowed with is certainly worth thanking for. I’ve certain ambition to achieve in a professional world for which I’ll strive as much I could and I’ll pray to be given a trait of someone being razi-ba-raz-e-ilahi.

I’m a great believer in the ability of our youth and I feel I can make a difference if found a proper platform with some like-minded people to try and help our downtrodden masses one way or the other. On a micro level at least, I’ll try and make a difference via the realization of my mother’s dreams.

I’m inviting Ayesha, Goonga, Asma and MZ to participate in the tag and reflect on the words written in bold.


16 thoughts on “Reflections

  1. Pingback: Reflections | Tea Break

  2. May You always be blessed with the prayers of your sweet mother ! AAmeen

    Wish you all the very very best for yor future endeavours:-)

    And yes…….

    On this page in “Possibly related posts” there is a post ” before I get married ” ……. I hope your post has no ‘relation’ with that post …hahahaha πŸ˜›

  3. The achievement of resolutions of my best friends’ habitual ‘love myself’, the way they want
    to make a difference, is real note of hope for me.

    Just kidding…

    Very good write up by a very good writer. I wish I were there and I could learn a lot from you!

  4. I dont love myself but its not habitual, my family and best friends know it.
    They want me to have all those achievements which they could not and this is a note of hope for me to make a difference and this very thought achieves the final resolution of my differences with them.

    Once again… nice writeup and you too must be feeling light after penning down.

  5. Asma Ahsan

    Much as I like to talk – I cannever self assess the way you do – so much truth in how well you know yourself!

    Lets see if I can write something on the subject too. πŸ˜›

    After 10th muharram in Pakistan.

  6. You’re brilliant not only in poetry but in writing prose as well! You’ve played this tag so beautifully. I love the way you reflect on yourself, there’s so much honesty in the words.

    May this year bring so much blessing for you and your family, Ameen.

  7. Ayesha

    That was brilliantly written! I’d try to write my thoughts too but I am sure that wouldn’t be as good as yours πŸ™‚

  8. Cavaliere

    I can relate to all that you’ve written…
    May Allah give you the opportunity — to serve our beloved country..and its people.
    I wish you all the best and would really like to see you accomplishing all the goals that you ve set for yourself ! πŸ™‚
    One more thing >>> YOU ARE TALENTED (and resolute) ENOUGH TO MAKE THE DIFFERENCE — that’s all that matters! πŸ™‚

  9. @Nayni .. Thanx for your sweet prayers! πŸ™‚ I haven’t read that possibly related post, the subject seems interesting to have a look at πŸ˜‰

    @Goonga .. you’ve done it in a very nice way πŸ˜‰ I hope you were here so that we could have lots of ‘ghoomna and phirna’. Theek hi tau kehtay hain ek shaksh saaray shehr ko weeran kar gya’. Have a great time there and thanks for the praise you showered upon me πŸ™‚

    @Shivya .. So very thanx! πŸ™‚ Happy new year! πŸ™‚

    @Asma .. It was a try to copy your style πŸ˜‰ Will wait for your reflections πŸ™‚

    @nadia .. I’m very happy to see your very favorable comments πŸ™‚ Thanks for your prayers! πŸ™‚

    @Ayesha .. Thanx but how could I write it better than yours! πŸ™‚ Your reflections were amazingly written!

    @Cavaliere .. I too have understood you to be a lot like me when I read your post about 2008. But you’re serving the land in a more purposeful way and I’m proud of you! πŸ™‚ Thanx for your lovely comments! πŸ™‚

  10. farhan

    Looks like you’re doing a lot of introspection and self-evaluaiton for the new year. That’s a good thing, but here comes the problem. When you expect too much from yourself you get disappointed in the end because you do not get what you want. It’s ok to have big dreams, but they should be realistic big dreams. I have learned to always ‘expect the worse to get the best’ when things are uncertain. That’s my philosophy, you can try it out just for experimentation sometime πŸ™‚

  11. @Farhan .. Yes, I’m reminded of the SMART goals thingy. Will try not to exaggerate dreams! Your philosophy seems very logical! Let’s try it out! πŸ™‚

  12. shobig

    Yaar you touch a nerve! I so miss that youthful zeal of ‘standing out and making a difference’ that I had an ample supply of not so long ago. I don’t know if it’s because of innate pessimism or more exposure or more age, but its extinction does hurt at times. May Allah help you in all your endeavors. we do need people who could bring about a long sought after change.

  13. @shobig .. Same is the case with me. The thoughts of standing out and making a difference are fast betraying me but still I want to get hold of a few of them. It might be the age factor as we both are more or less the same but on my front its more of the rejection of society to let me close and work with it in the spheres where I want to be part of it.
    Thanks wishing me well! πŸ™‚

  14. i’m deeply moved … on the brighter side you know what to do. Love yourself …. over the time i realized that loving oneself brings satisfaction.

  15. @ sharaf … There is a thin line between narcissism and loving oneself for inspiration and it is quite advisable to do the latter, as you’ve put. Thanks for the comment! Welcome to my blog! πŸ™‚

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