Forgive me, mother!

I wish it were only a bad dream, not a strangling reality. But since I’m typing this fully awake, having consumed my stock of your lullabies, mother, let me confess you my failures. Let me show you my broken wings that cannot take me to the stars you wanted me to touch. Let me show you my hands, bereft. My heart is no longer the one, big, where your dreams would rest; it shriveled in the autumn ever since I wowed to bring you flowers.

It sure kills me to resign to the fact. To resign to the fact that your dreams will remain vain. That I’m the culprit of betraying your hopes. But mother, I have my reasons to excuse; there’s still this giant being of fate blocking my way to reach to you, to find myself.

I’m writing this because you cannot read it. Another deceit on my part but I cannot help it. I cannot tell you the truth, mour. Neither could I keep it to myself anymore. Forgive me for being a false source of your expectations! Forgive me mother!

Writing Haiku

Below here are a few random attempts at writing haiku, courtesy the inspiration from a few nice fellows at DWL.

1)
Alone in Isloo;
I enjoy the company
of mom in mardan

2)
Nineteen, forty five;
a generation lost
on a spur of rage

3)
Worshiping haiku,
we count on our fingertips
seventeen syllables

4)
Gigantic egos,
collide in futile battles,
relations suffer.

Things I want to happen …

I know realistically they aren’t going to materialize through mere wishes but there is no harm reminding them. Things I wanna happen soon are;

1) A change of job. (The present one is killing me for its monotony. There’s nothing new to learn and nothing much to earn for that matter 😦 ,)

2) A change in our governmental policy on terrorism. (Enough of forcefull measures to curb millitancy. The country is virtually on the brink of collapse. We don’t wanna lose Pakistan to the US conspiracies through a few morons at the helm)

3) The clarity of my mind to write frequent, fluent and effective stuff. (Writing better researched stuff to highlight societal ills for the sake of awaring the masses is what I’ve always craved but never really came up with)

4) To make my mother proud. (I can’t even imagine how difficultly she managed to raise us. The expectations to do well in our lives must be very high but I’ve done nothing of sorts to show her for the realization of her dreams)

5). To do something substantial for my people and my country. (I know my limitations yet being a firm believer in the abilities of the youth to lift the name of Pakistan, I too wanna be counted as one of them; the ones who could change Pakistan for better)

Dear Mother!

When I was a child

I used to dream

of becoming such strong

so that to raise your stature

to the stars; you termed my destination

yet I needed you to grow me up.

And when I’ve grown up

I still need your prayers

to pluck those stars

and sprinkle it

under your feet

right where my heaven lies.